It's a living breathing creature trying to get out tonight

It would seem that there are forces outside my control that are helping keep me from unleashing the anger I have in me tonight. I spent the last 30 minutes trying to explain and get out the anger I have tonight in this blog when my screen just shut down. My words erased, my feeling taken with it. So the little voice in me that is struggling with exhaustion of being up for the last 41 hours. That has been trying to keep my anger from lashing out tonight got a little help keeping the anger in me that seems to be it's own living breathing animal trying to get out tonight and ripping into those who are causing me grief. I am on the brink of complete exhaustion and that makes me more susceptible to my emotions. I lose the control I have to keep my anger inside and not lash out at those who hurt me or cause me pain. Cause right now that's what I want to do and somehow the cosmos and technology have found a way to keep me from doing so. So one more night you who have angered me are safe from my wrath and turning your hurtful ways back on you. I am not a angry person as a rule. I keep my anger in and vent it when I can in safe healthy ways but riding on this wave of exhaustion I would gladly drown you all in my pain and disappointment with out a backward glance.. So I leave you with the words that reminded me of a friend who reached out to me even though I am far beyond his physical reach and reminded me of those who actually value me and don't try to placate me with their cowardly bull shit.

In loneliness, in sickness, in confusion-the mere knowledge of friendship makes it possible to endure, even if the friend is powerless to help. It is enough that they exist. Friendship is not diminished by distance or time, by imprisonment or war, by suffering or silence. It is in these things that it roots most deeply. It is from these things that it flowers." -Pam Brown