Part of why I am unhappy..I think

OK so No I have not found the solutions to all my problems...I WISH! But I am starting to see some things that are contributing to my current attitude. But before that let's just lay it out so I may be clear. OK so yes I really dislike having financial problems. They keep you up at night, they make you sick to your stomach and so many other nasty side effects. On top of that talking finances really makes me uncomfortable. I have never really felt right talking about any one's finances. It just one of those things that makes me feel ill. See I still don't want to talk about it. Moving ON...
But anyhow, I am just getting back into a new work environment. I am cautious, I am a bit skittish, and to make it worse I am an over achiever. I know what I am capable of. I know what I am good at and I know I am a fast learner. But for the first time in my life I got laid off from a job. Yeah so did like, half the company but regardless, I was dispensable. That scares the hell out of me. I have always been good at my job. I work hard, I do as I'm told and more often than not I don't have to be told what to do. But now I am treading lightly where before I would of been blazing my own trail. I know I am doing good work where I am, I have been given more responsibility and my boss has flat out told me he is extremely pleased with my excitement for my job and how well I do it. But it seems I still seek approval and something I do not have a word for at the moment. This is new to me to do this. Another thing I am uneasy about.
I am for the most part raising my daughter alone. Yes I have my mother to help me and yes Aly's dad plays a part in her life but the bigger picture is I am raising her alone. I did not have to do this with Willow. I was married for her first nearly two years of life and my ex-husband and I shared that responsibility. When I was scared I had someone else to be scared with. When I was joyous I had someone else to be joyous with. The burdens and the excitement of raising a child were shared. There is nothing greater in my life than my daughters. I do everything in my power to provide for them, to be there for them and to guide them. But when you have no one to lean on when you are tired or worried it gets to be exhausting and you begin to second guess yourself a lot. I am a great mother, but have I made all the right choices when it comes to them. Willow is a bright and seeking young girl who is an amazing challenge to have. Through her I am learning so many new things and watching her become such a precocious child. Alyssa is just beginning to see the world. Every day she learns something new and 10 different ways to challenge me. She is the laughter in my life. No matter how bad my day is, I can look at her and know I have the most precious thing in the world in my life. My daughters are why I smile, why I wake up every day and know that my life has meaning and a greater importance.
Now speaking of my children at this stage in my life I have some how found a new understanding with Willow's father that we could not find even while married. Our pride and love for Willow has finally showed that we are equal even if in only this one thing. And for the time we are on the same level. My understanding and "level" with Aly's father is not the same right now. In the last 9 months Aly's dad has come into her life and has given Aly the daddy she adores. And she does adore him. I had my reservations in the beginning. Why shouldn't I? He had chose not to be a part of this wonderful child's life. And suddenly he's had a change of heart and wants in to her life. But I couldn't or wouldn't deny my daughter a chance to know her father or for them to find that love that grows between a daddy and his little girl. And boy did that love grow. Like I said she adores him there is no other way to describe it. I grew to trust him and to see the love he could have for his little girl. But recently some things have changed in her father's life that are going to be difficult for him and in the end I fear will be difficult for Aly. And that is where my problem lies. These changes could hurt my daughter. They may not. But that's the thing about being a mother you fear that which CAN hurt your child not only what IS hurting your child. You fear the things that haven't happened yet. He may choose once again that he doesn't want to be a part of her life. And I am the one who has to deal with that. I am the one who will have to try and explain this to her some day and help her understand. The one who will see the tears and the pain of having a parent walk away. I will be the one who will have to take away the hurt and keep that kind of disappointment from damaging her for the rest of her life. Or worse if I should be taken away too soon, leaving my child with no parent in her life. And can I find it in myself the strength and single-mindedness to fight and ensure she gets all that she deserves from him should he walk away. These things scare me like nothing else because they are out of my control. Do I trust him not to break our daughters heart, Yes. But can promises be broken, Yes. You may say it's borrowing problems by worrying about what hasn't happened but you become a mother and see how it feels. You give life to a person who has only you to protect and provide for them and you will see the world in a whole new way.
The rest of what I think is making me unhappy I'm not even sure I can share with anyone yet.