Moonlight

The moonlight shining in my window tonight seems lonesome and cold. I sit here looking at the the night sky. Not a whisper of a breeze is blowing but I can smell the comforting scents of fall. Though I find no comfort in them. Surround by the warmth of so many great things in my life. There still is somewhere deep inside me that they can not reach. While I know I have so much, I am still left with a sense of wanting. Searching always for something that has not yet been defined. Bringing doubts into my mind.
How do I find what I can not recognize? Even with clues and signs I still can not find my way. Like a ship lost at sea with no stars to guide me. I'm set adrift wandering the dark and rigid night. Wondering if when the dawn comes I'll find I'm already home. Or with out the light to guide me I'll crash upon the rocks. With such uncertainty I feel hopeless and alone. Ever wondering have I done something wrong. Did I miss what I was destined for? Or by chance did I simply just toss it aside always wanting something more? Can this really be how my life is meant to play out.
Knowing how grateful I should be for all I have done with my life. I still feeling like I will never have all the answers. While being able to block out that which scares me till the night closes in around me. How pretty the facade may seem, I know it's untrue. I reach out for help but know only I can find my way. But fear I'll always be lost in a half truth.
Unable to cast away that which binds me to this path. I can not see what is before me only what has passed. Will I never find what I'm searching for. So I still sit tonight looking out at the moonlight.